Local MPs today were united in horror as US President Barack Obama took an unplanned left turn upon exiting the front gate of the University of the West Indies during his first trip to the island. Despite increasingly desperate reminders to the President’s envoy to remain on the recently de-potholed route, the motorcade could be seen turning into the nearby August Town community in what is being described to politicians as “that place down the road from UWI.”
Frenzied Ministers could be seen scrambling to stall the President’s vehicle while attempting to complete emergency road work measures, building renovations, streetlight replacement and drainage clearance on their own. “This has nothing to do with the arrival or presence of President Obama,” said Minister Reid, shoveling black tar into a decades old pot hole. “These repairs were scheduled long in advance”.
Meanwhile Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller reportedly informed the Commander-in-Chief that were he to spot any potholes (not that there are any), her Cabinet would not be to blame as they did not dig the holes themselves.
To avoid further disaster, the Government is imploring Jamaicans to remain entirely off the main roads for the duration of the US President’s visit, and to refrain from looking “too poor”, at least for the next couple days.