Female Pedestrian Hopes Stranger Calls Pum Pum Fat Today

African Scholars

KINGSTON – While planning her route to the local University campus this morning, female pedestrian Peta-Gay Harris reportedly expressed the hope that a random passerby might describe her vagina to her in graphic detail.

“Some days a girl just wants to feel like a collection of body parts,” said Harris, choosing the densely populated route she would normally avoid, “And I’m ready to be swept up off my feet.”

Harris added that she would also be flattered with romantic overtures like “you breast dem stiff up and firm eeh”, lists of sexual positions she would be suitable for, or simply unflinching lazer like stares.

Harris was able to breathe a sigh of relief soon after leaving her home when a motorist followed her from her gate to her classroom, offering to give her “a ride on (his) stiff cocky” and “beat it up severely.”