NOBODY CARES, ST. ANN – Even with his newfound fame, YouTube sensation Glenroy Brown continues to struggle with the rat infestation in his community. Brown won the hearts of the nation when his short interview, asking for government assistance with the pests, became a catchy song aided by auto-tune. Thankfully, DJ Flossy, the local musician who turned the interview into a viral hit, is still benefiting from Brown’s dire living situation. “It’s opened up a lot of opportunities for me. I owe so much to those rats”, said Flossy, whose phone disconnected when asked if any proceeds were shared with Brown or other residents.
“The rat them still a bite [my] pickney them”, said Brown, who also said that strangers ask for his autograph but no one has offered to assist with the actual problem. Residents of Nobody Cares find it difficult to accept a lack of awareness on the part of the government, due to a recent visit by local MP, Donald Hughes, who took a selfie with Brown. Hughes could not be reached for comment, but Brown can take comfort in the fact that the selfie has amassed more than 1000 likes on Instagram. At press time, Brown and other community residents could be seen standing on chairs and tables, screaming in appreciation.