Local Producer Impressed With Number of Gay Things Dancehall Artiste Doesn’t Do

Local Producer

KINGSTON – Famed local producer Kaliber had nothing but good things to say about the heterosexual stylings of rising recording artiste Straight Gunshot after a lengthy studio session in Half Way Tree. “This may be the straightest dancehall artiste Jamaica has ever seen,” said the veteran producer, marvelling at the seemingly interminable list of gay activities that the artist does not engage in.

Beyond refusing to say the word “two,” “bottom” or any other homosexual words, Straight Gunshot also reportedly would not lotion a man’s skin, tie another man’s shoes, or give another man directions to another man’s home. “Why him wah know where a next man live fa?’ asked a visibly irate Straight Gunshot, who’s real name is Kareem Anderson, “him love man?”

Straight Gunshot shared with UGS that he has seen remarkable success in recent months with songs like “Boom Bye Bye Reloaded,” “I Promise I’m Not Gay” and “Strictly for the Ladies. Strictly.” off his Please Drown in Lava mixtape, which contains a staggering number of gay stuff that the artiste openly frowns upon.

“And that’s just scratching the surface,” added Kaliber, who expressed confidence in the future of the flagging dancehall industry with the success of this new rising star.

“Not since Bounty or Kartel has dancehall seen such a groundbreakingly heterosexual man,” said Kaliber, “and we should all take a page out his book.” He was quickly reminded that “man nuffi tek nuh page outta nuh man book.”

Kaliber went on to describe Anderson’s extensive catalogue of gay behaviours that he does not partake in as “truly inspired.”

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