Host Sued After Using Glass Table for Dominoes Night


MANDEVILLE – On April 23rd of this year, returning resident Alrick Russell decided to celebrate his arrival on the island by hosting an innocent games night for a few of his old friends, but the aftermath of his cold-blooded furniture selection will haunt him for the rest of his life.

Russell, 57, who has lived in New York for forty years now, claims to have some basic regard for human life, but the three casualties of his sadistic decision to play dominoes on a fragile table top structure would argue otherwise.

“Any decent person would have postponed dominoes night until they could provide a safe environment; one where the lives of your so-called ‘friends’ were not in imminent danger” said dominoes winner and PTSD patient Marvin Kelly, who is suing the maniac for a modest 50 million JMD.

“Yeah I slammed the table. What else was I supposed to do?” continued Kelly, thankful that the feeling has finally returned to his right arm. “I beat him 6 love for Christ’s sake.”

Jonathan Peters and Henrick Brown, the other victims of that fateful night, have also levied suits against Russell. Brown, who now sports an eye patch, believes that although Kelly’s victory slam shattered the table, the fault lies entirely with the man he now says is “dead to [him].”

“All I remember is that Marvin won and then raised his hand. The hand came down hard and…the screams. I’ll never forget those screams,” said Brown when reached for comment. “This was my good eye.”

Peters told UGS that he sees a therapist twice a week now, and has since given up the job he once loved. “I can’t stand being around anything made of glass anymore,” he said, referring to his former profession as a bartender. “Every time I pour a drink, I hear ‘6 love,’ and then a flashback to that unforgivable furniture arrangement.”

Stephanie Hosein, who is representing the three plaintiffs, explained that the extensive damages her clients are seeking will cover their medical bills and emotional pain and suffering. “The defendant essentially asked his guests to play dominoes on a ticking time bomb. Once my client won his sixth straight game – sixth in a row, no less – the writing was on the wall.”

At press time, Russell had since returned to the States, where he reportedly regularly torments his friends and family by laying waste to their previously suitable table top furniture in an effort to play dominoes “the real way.”