Computer Was Working Fine Before You “Fixed” It, Cry Local Parents

YOUR HOUSE – Moving from genuine gratitude to immense frustration in record time, your parents today openly expressed their desire to go back in time and stop themselves from ever letting you set up their joint Skype account considering the fact that “you always just cause all sorts of problems every time [they] ask you to help.”

“Everything is running slower now since you touched it,” your father reportedly explained before handing you the state of the art eleven-year-old laptop that you were pretty sure could not have got any worse. “And I still can’t hear your Auntie when she video-calls.”

According to reports, neither parent bears any of the blame for the unresponsive computer as your mother “definitely [doesn’t] leave 10 programs running simultaneously for hours anymore,” and those toolbars which now cover half of the browser “are the only way [your father] can get to [his] email.”

Sources later confirmed that your parents have since traced all IT issues back to the moment when you plugged the charger directly into the wall, instead of one of the many surge protectors that your mother expressly purchased for situations like this one. “But of course you never listen,” she reminded you once again. “And now my files won’t even open up anymore. Thanks a lot.”

At press time, UGS was made to understand that your parents decided to borrow yours instead, and have reportedly closed all the “foolishness” that you left open in multiple tabs before asking you to explain the meaning of several pictures on your Facebook account and what that friend who used to come over all the time is currently doing with his life.