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Monthly Archives: October 2015

Ministry of Health Identifies Fenton Ferguson as National Health Hazard

October 29, 2015by UGSstaff

Describing the MP as the ebola of people, a newly released health audit today has revealed that health minister Fenton Ferguson has been officially labelled as a Category A biological threat […]

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Current Affairs

All Signs Still Suggest Illuminati Controls World As We Know It, By the Way

October 27, 2015by UGSstaff

Just in case you still believe you have any control over your life or the world around you, and forgot about the evil organization behind the scenes of every armed […]

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Current Affairs

Fleet of Military Drones Announce Bid for US Presidency

October 15, 2015by UGSstaff

WASHINGTON D.C. – Emphasizing their vast foreign policy experience and the fact that they are sentient now, a fleet of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles from the US drone programme officially announced today […]

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Current Affairs, International

Quick Grace Before Dinner Now Hostage Situation for Local Family

October 14, 2015by UGSstaff

MANDEVILLE – As details emerge on the ongoing hostage crisis at the Johnson family dining room table, sources close to the family have revealed that the starving victims have begun […]

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Local

Ben Carson’s Evil Twin Prepares for “Phase 2”

October 9, 2015by UGSstaff

The obvious stranger impersonating revered neurosurgeon Ben Carson in the Republican primaries has released a statement today revealing to the world that he is actually none other than Carson’s evil […]

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Current Affairs, International

Flow Jamaica Announces Plans to Sponsor Feeling of Utter Despair

October 8, 2015by UGSstaff

Hopelessness, anguish and despair, sensations that have now become synonymous with Flow Jamaica’s service, have received an official nod of approval today as the telecom giant announced plans to officially […]

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Business

Fairy Tale Lovers on Brink of Break Up After Argument Over Salad Bowl

October 5, 2015by UGSstaff

NEW YORK – In an unforeseen twist following the adorable meet-cute, comical misunderstanding and serendipitous reunion which led Lance Jackson, 28, and Carmen Reece, 25, to cement their fairy tale […]

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Love & Relationships

British Prime Minister Meets Jamaica Half Way, Promises Not To Enslave Us a Second Time

October 2, 2015by UGSstaff 1 Comment

Sensing a distinct lack of gratitude from the Jamaican people during his first official visit to the island, British Prime Minister David Cameron has formally agreed to strike a compromise […]

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Current Affairs

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