All Signs Still Suggest Illuminati Controls World As We Know It, By the Way

Just in case you still believe you have any control over your life or the world around you, and forgot about the evil organization behind the scenes of every armed conflict and rising entertainment star since 1776, reports confirm that the Illuminati is definitely still a thing, with countless lives being risked to bring you this very news.

The most recent sign that the world needs to wake up and smell the puppet masters already has come in the form of the music video for Rihanna’s new single Party All Night, which sources have revealed is filled with images and subliminal messages that may cause unsuspecting viewers to devote their lives to Satan himself if they’re not careful.

“Exhibit A: Rihanna winks at the camera several times in this supposedly harmless video.” said renowned Illuminati expert abovetheinfluence735, who broke the troubling news on his Youtube channel earlier today. “She’s awfully determined to show us one eye, don’t you think?”

UGS understands that matters have only been compounded by the presidential bid of Hillary Clinton, known associate of Barack “Obama”, who has been spotted in several pictures with entertainers and famed Illuminati veterans Jay Z and Beyonce´.

“They don’t even [expletive] hide it anymore,” abovetheinfluence735 continued, running out of time. “Wake up sheeple. This is 9/11 all over again.”

A representative of the counter-secret society Illuminati Exposed, devoted to uncovering the truth about suspicious anomalies such as Adam Sandler’s continuing movie career, has supported the findings by reminding everyone that Jay Z’s much maligned streaming service Tidal recently announced reaching 1 million subscribers. “If that doesn’t open your eyes to the kind of power this secret society has, then what will?”

UGS would be remiss not to admit that that last point does raise a few eyebrows.

However, the most disturbing development comes in the wake of California’s severe drought, which, many of the awake have noted, suspiciously occurred right before the “discovery” of water on rumoured future Illuminati stronghold, Mars.

“Still don’t believe us?” asked a cloaked figure who identified himself only as “Not In the Illuminati.” 

“Read this article backwards.”