LONDON – Wiping the champagne out of his eyes and ears, veteran football coach Michael Stern took a moment out of the celebrations to thank the thousands of fans whose tactical advice led his Dorshire FC team to their first Champions League title ever.
Stern, who up until this season stubbornly relied on his years of football knowledge and expertise to manage the football club, finally turned things around this year by seeking help from the spectators bellowing suggestions from the stands and the tactical recommendations from the fans at home.
“Who knew that we could be the best team in Europe simply by playing with a little more heart?” asked an admittedly shocked Stern as he tried to find room in the club’s cabinet for yet another league trophy. “Good thing those people in the third row showed up today.”
Despite facing criticism from other coaches and former players, Stern continues to seek guidance from his counsel of supporters on a weekly basis as part of his overall plan to not play mediocre football anymore.
Sky Sports pundit Andrew Kinnear added to the praise for “The Special Ones” by suggesting that the groundbreaking new approach, spearheaded by a slew of comments on the club’s website, could lead to a paradigm shift in professional sports altogether.
“Think about it, if you’re struggling to break down the opposition’s defense, then just change the [expletive] formation, like that guy in the box has been shouting all season. It’s foolproof.”
New reports are suggesting however that despite leading Dorshire to a historic treble, Stern’s job may be in jeopardy as plans are currently in motion to replace him with a young coaching prodigy with years of experience playing the revered simulator franchise known only as Football Manager.
At press time, sources close to the club confirmed that attempts will also be made to take out all available loans in order to purchase the 63 top players that fans have demanded before the close of the transfer window.