KINGSTON – Speaking to both his direct supervisor and the CEO of his company, Mainline Insurance, local claims adjuster Carl Webley revealed today that the brand new set of corporate imperatives, designed to add more value to all his day to day activities, was just what he needed to get pumped up about going to work again.
In the impromptu discussion on the new and improved guidelines designed to increase profits and improve staff morale, which began when his boss asked if he was “working hard or hardly working” again, Webley admitted that prior to the initiative he may have lost track of what was really important to him: client satisfaction.
“It’s weird, I feel really motivated again all of a sudden.” said the beaming temp as he reflected on all the strategic imperatives outlined in the staff email titled Tapping into yOUR hidden potential!!!!!!! which he has yet to open. “Now every minute at work I’m thinking paradigm shifts and overarching synergies. It really opened my eyes.”
Inside sources reveal that the imperatives include a daily commitment to increasing shareholder value, a guide to investing in your number one client: you, and something called The Holy Grail which reportedly changes everything you thought you knew about providing reasonably priced insurance policies.
Webley later added that he only wished he had thought of the new corporate imperatives himself, and noted that the acronym, V.I.B.E.S.C.A.N.T.D.O.N.E. really tied the whole thing together.
At press time, a follow up email was reportedly sent to all staff titled Part 2: Time to Streamline.