Newly Married Dancehall Artiste Assures Fans He’s Still Heartless Gyalist

Attractive couple cuddling on the couch

KINGSTON – Responding to growing concern about his allegedly genuine commitment to one woman for the rest of his life, local recording artiste Gyal God took a moment from his honeymoon to assure his fans that he is still the same cold-blooded womanizer we’ve all come to know and love.  

Reports indicate that the new groom had sought to preempt the backlash with a music video featuring countless bikini-clad models in which he states in plain terms that he will be cheating on his wife. However the move is believed to have backfired due to widespread rumours of his consummate professionalism with the women on set.

The revered gyalist, who made a name for himself with songs like Too Much Gyal Now, Gyal-Qaeda and a new Gyal Management course at the University of the West Indies, explained to his concerned fans that he would have slept with the bridesmaids after the reception too if it wasn’t such a stressful day. But many have responded to these new claims with skepticism.

“Yeah right.” said one longtime supporter who reportedly felt cheated by his favourite artiste’s proposal and subsequent admission that he now knows the true meaning of love. “Now when he sings about daggering all these women we’ll know he’s really just thinking about daggering his wife. Dancehall is dead.”

The disappointed fan went on to accuse the self described “Pum Pum Plumber of being a sell out who, he shuddered to think, has probably even been faithful in a succession of monogamous relationships for years before deciding to settle down. The fan later admitted that he may have crossed the line with that one.

At press time, Gyal God was forced to defend his reputation to his irate fans once again when revealing pictures surfaced of the so-called Gyal Whisperer doing chores around the house.

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