Optimism About Future Really Pissing Everybody Off

KINGSTON – Genuinely describing the upcoming national elections as an opportunity for a “fresh start,” local pariah Kemar Griffiths, 32, has reportedly maintained his disturbingly positive outlook on the future of the country, putting a strain on his relationships with friends and family.

“He needs to keep his opinions to himself,” says co-worker Arlene Campbell, who admitted to reporting Griffiths to human resources because of his abiding faith in the hard work and goodwill of his elected representatives. “I can’t work in that kind of environment.”

Griffiths, who sources describe as dunce, naive, and deserving of every pothole he has to drive through each morning, contends that things “aren’t so bad,” and reminded everyone that “[Vision] 2030 is right around the corner,” in case they forgot.

“And hey, if it doesn’t work out, at least they’re trying.” continued Griffiths, sending those within earshot into a fit of rage. “I’m sure they’re all just doing the best they can.”

Sources confirm that even though Griffiths has been around long enough to know better, he remains confident that the days of scandals and corruption will soon be behind us as promised by both parties, “so there’s nothing to worry about.”

At press time, Griffiths was escorted from his office by security after reportedly assuring everyone that the unemployment rate would turn around in no time, and was heard yelling “patience is a virtue” on the way out.

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