Obama Travels to Cuba on One Man Mission to Finish Job CIA Started

Obama gun castro

In a move that Fidel Castro himself could never have expected, inside sources reveal that President Obama has traveled to the island of Cuba on a daring mission to wipe out the communist threat once and for all.

“If you want a job done right you have to do it yourself.” said the President of the United States in a vague speech to the nation which included a surprising number of references to the “ever present red-scare.”

“Now excuse me, I have some unfinished business to attend to.”

The plan was reportedly set in motion when Obama, acting as if the U.S. had suddenly changed their attitude towards the “commie scum” in their backyard, opened up the country’s borders to trade and travel in an elaborate plan to get Castro to let his guard down.

“If all goes well, this should mark the final chapter on the Cold War at last, beginning a domino effect of freedom across the globe,” added a spokesperson from the Obama administration, underscoring the importance of the President’s historic stealth mission on the island.

Obama reiterated this point as he spit out some tobacco he’d been chewing and looked out into the middle distance, shining his trusty 45 revolver which sources confirm has never let him down before.

“Today, vengeance has a name.” growled the President with a controlled, icy-hot intensity. “It’s called Democracy.”

At press time, Castro reportedly wrestled Obama to the ground before he could fire the gun, leaving the U.S. no choice but to resort to a more diplomatic approach.

Advertisements