RIO – A new version of the Olympics logo was unveiled today in an extravagant, breathtaking ceremony, officially adding the looming shadow of fear and uncertainty to the image of the Games so that if anything “regrettable” were to happen in Rio, no one can say they never told you so.
“We felt it was important to capture that extra bit of tension and thrill surrounding the events this year,” said one of the organizers in reference to the dark shadow cast over the 2016 Games by disease, political instability and crime waves throughout the host city ideal for that “life-or-death competitive atmosphere.”
“Athletes will literally sacrifice their health and wellness to win it all on the world stage. Isn’t that what the Olympics are all about?”
The committee added that the logo also represents celebration and togetherness, breaking down barriers, and bringing people and cultures closer together – perfect conditions for the spread of the Zika virus.
“Nobody’s worried. We’re just focused on hosting a successful event for the world to see,” said another organizer as he put the finishing touches on the branding for the official Olympics hazmat suit, which will be issued to the whinier spectators and athletes upon request. “We’ll cross those bridges when we have the costly infrastructure that should have been in place months ago to do so.”
At press time, a picture of Usain Bolt was distributed to the media as the official response to any other concerns about the hosting of the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio.