Some wordpress blog called the soup or whatever really overestimated the level of interest in their little website today with a heartfelt apology to their “readership” for allegedly not posting anything in over a month.
Sources revealed that writers Adrian Campbell and Tristan Alleyne, names you’ve already begun to forget, apparently felt some sort of guilt or responsibility for depriving you of what they have convinced themselves is some world class satire, and were moved to issue this fake-humble, self aggrandizing apology in lieu of something interesting or worthwhile.
“You deserve better, we’re better than this, and we’re sorry,” said Alleyne, with the utmost sincerity, as if he was on the brink of a Pulitzer Prize for this or something. “Please forgive us.”
“From now on we’re posting every other day [unless something, anything, comes up]. Promise,” added Campbell, before actually using the word “essential” to describe the wildly original idea of making satirical jokes about current affairs.
Many were actually relieved, argued the two writers, to finally hear again from a blog which seems to believe jokes about Pokemon Go and the Prime Minister are unique or novel in some way, with reports confirming that some were moved to reply with “cool”, “ha” and even “okay then”, in response to this transparent attempt to appear relevant.
At press time, after a grueling two hour wait, the apology was shared 3 times on Facebook.