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Category Archives: Current Affairs

Public Hospitals Urged To Cut Costs by Burying Patients Alive

May 5, 2015by UGSstaff

The Ministry of Health has advised all healthcare professionals to curtail the waste of precious resources by preemptively burying their patients underground and forgetting about them altogether. The recommendation comes […]

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Current Affairs

Defiant Outgoing NHT Board Insists Tenure was Decade Long Game of Monopoly

April 27, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – In a statement released by the outgoing board of the National Housing Trust today, Jamaican taxpayers have been assured that the recently publicized investment scandals are just a […]

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Current Affairs

Maximum Security Prison to be Built for Nation’s Wagonists

April 23, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Prime Minister Portia Simpson-Miller today announced plans to design and develop a state of the art correctional facility to house the country’s recognized bandwagonists. “These people threaten the […]

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Current Affairs

JCF Struggles to Come to Terms with U.S. Police Shootings, Still Not Sure What Big Deal Is

April 22, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – The Jamaica Constabulary Force was left speechless this morning after gathering to view the Walter Scott police shooting video in an effort to determine what all the fuss […]

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Current Affairs

Local Man Wins Landmark Murder Case with “He Insulted My Mother” Defence.

April 18, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Local teacher Richard Byfield was acquitted on charges of first degree murder this afternoon in what has been described as a landmark ruling for the Jamaican justice system. […]

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Current Affairs

Nation’s Pastors Still Undecided on Marital Murder

April 18, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Having explained to Jamaica’s pagans why marital rape should remain legal, the nation’s Pastors have turned their attention to the contentious issue of marital murder. “The debate over […]

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Current Affairs

Obama Takes Unexpected Left Turn

April 9, 2015by UGSstaff

Local MPs today were united in horror as US President Barack Obama took an unplanned left turn upon exiting the front gate of the University of the West Indies during […]

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Current Affairs

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