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Category Archives: Local

Local Woman Removes Makeup, Is 1988 Toyota Tercel

Featuredby UGSstaff

In what he insists is yet another textbook example of cosmetic deception, local marketing consultant Brian Arscott has revealed that the beautiful and engaging young woman he slept with last night […]

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Local, Love & Relationships

Embarrassing Secret Slated to Begin Journey Down Network of Best Friends

Featuredby UGSstaff

KINGSTON – After dropping vague hints about “your so-called friend” and later explaining that they promised not to tell, giddy inside sources revealed that 15-year-old Laura Haynes openly contemplated pulling the […]

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Current Affairs, Local

All New Corporate Imperatives Get Local Employee Fired Up About Job Again

Featuredby UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Speaking to both his direct supervisor and the CEO of his company, Mainline Insurance, local claims adjuster Carl Webley revealed today that the brand new set of corporate […]

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Business, Local

Joe Grind, Matey Coalition Encourages Nation to Boycott Holiday Season

Featuredby UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Lamenting that the holidays unfairly serve to strengthen the bonds of love and family in official relationships without due regard for anyone else, a local delegation of sidepieces […]

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Local, Love & Relationships

Local Gay Overlords Move for Total Domination

November 23, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Confirming the most harrowing fears of the Jamaican people, news outlets today are reporting that rumours of a nationwide takeover by our gay overlords are based in fact, and […]

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Current Affairs, Local

Third Wheel at Local House Party Forgot to Charge Phone

November 17, 2015by UGSstaff

MANDEVILLE – Retreating to the bathroom to avoid the looming threat of small talk, 23-year-old Jason Humes has confirmed that he has never felt more alone than he does right […]

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Local

Facebook Friend Officially Over All the Drama

November 11, 2015by UGSstaff

FLORIDA – Publicly putting an end to a yet unknown chain of “unbelievable” events, your Facebook friend Cindy Michaels recently updated her status to reveal to the world that she is now […]

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Local

Best Version of Self Not That Great Either

November 9, 2015by UGSstaff

THE REAL WORLD – Contrary to your long held personal beliefs about your true potential, new research reveals that if you were to buckle down and really apply yourself from […]

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Local

Needy Woman Sends Text After Night of Passionate Lovemaking

November 4, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Mistaking their latest session of physical and emotional intimacy for a personal connection of some kind, local stage five clinger Shanice Taylor, 27, has reportedly sent a barrage […]

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Local, Love & Relationships

Quick Grace Before Dinner Now Hostage Situation for Local Family

October 14, 2015by UGSstaff

MANDEVILLE – As details emerge on the ongoing hostage crisis at the Johnson family dining room table, sources close to the family have revealed that the starving victims have begun […]

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Local

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