KINGSTON – The Lord Our God came forward today to publicly request that Reverend Al Miller repeat his story about the transportation of convicted drug trafficker Christopher Dudus Coke just one last time as He doesn’t quite get what supposedly happened that day either.
The Creator of All Things reportedly explained that He didn’t want to call the well known minister a liar or anything, but between the Reverend and the Commissioner’s version of events, He was starting to forget what really went down Himself.
“So you say you spoke to the Commissioner when?” asked The Lord again, scratching His head after Miller’s latest inconsistent retelling. “Wait, what? But- so why were you involved? I’m lost.”
God also expressed his displeasure with Miller’s insistence on bringing His name into this whole affair and requested that he provide some evidence of their alleged correspondence, later adding that maybe it’s time to start making us write everything down again.
“You sought my guidance? And I told you to go pick up an international drug don in a wig. Come on Rev, you know how I feel about calling my name in vain.”
Sources indicate that upon hearing the Lord’s statements, Reverend Miller shared a new version of the story wherein God is a sellout who can’t even get His story straight, but assured his congregation that he will gracefully forgive Him once He does.