Dating Advice: Unsolicited Dick Pics?
Craig Asks: Hey UGS, how do I seamlessly weave this unsolicited dick pic into polite conversation? Great question, Craig. Look, we’ve all been there. You’re talking, she’s laughing, things are going […]
Category Archives: Love & Relationships
14 Minutes To Go Before Crying in Front of Girlfriend No Longer Endearing
During an intense period of open weeping which reportedly grew louder as time wore on, sources who bore witness to a crying, hiccuping man revealed that he had a mere 14 […]
Soulmate Not Looking to Settle Down Right Now
MANDEVILLE – In a cruel twist of fate months after the universe gifted you the love of your life; the ying to your yang; the person you want to grow […]
Local Man Successfully Takes Fetish to His Grave
PORT ANTONIO – Area man Alistair Lawrence, 84, lost his battle with cancer last night, leaving behind a wife, 3 children, and absolutely zero knowledge of that little thing he likes […]
‘Sex Cool, Abstinence Lame’ Argue Local High School Students
KINGSTON – Adding their piece to the longstanding national debate on sex education, a group representing high school students across the island has come forward to declare that, while they […]
Local Woman Removes Makeup, Is 1988 Toyota Tercel
In what he insists is yet another textbook example of cosmetic deception, local marketing consultant Brian Arscott has revealed that the beautiful and engaging young woman he slept with last night […]
Newly Married Dancehall Artiste Assures Fans He’s Still Heartless Gyalist
KINGSTON – Responding to growing concern about his allegedly genuine commitment to one woman for the rest of his life, local recording artiste Gyal God took a moment from his […]
Joe Grind, Matey Coalition Encourages Nation to Boycott Holiday Season
KINGSTON – Lamenting that the holidays unfairly serve to strengthen the bonds of love and family in official relationships without due regard for anyone else, a local delegation of sidepieces […]
Needy Woman Sends Text After Night of Passionate Lovemaking
KINGSTON – Mistaking their latest session of physical and emotional intimacy for a personal connection of some kind, local stage five clinger Shanice Taylor, 27, has reportedly sent a barrage […]
Fairy Tale Lovers on Brink of Break Up After Argument Over Salad Bowl
NEW YORK – In an unforeseen twist following the adorable meet-cute, comical misunderstanding and serendipitous reunion which led Lance Jackson, 28, and Carmen Reece, 25, to cement their fairy tale […]
The Ungrateful Soup 