BREAKING: Monday Found Dead with Suicide Note
GREGORIAN CALENDAR – Reports have confirmed that Monday, long harassed and despised for returning week after week, was found dead in its studio apartment early this morning with a suicide note […]
Category Archives: International
Universe Just Making it Up As It Goes Along
Stating for the record that it has no idea what it’s doing, the universe today released a statement dispelling the “hilarious” notion that everything in life is unfolding as it […]
Trump Needed Now More than Ever
Ask yourself this question America, how far are we willing to let this go? Look at what we’ve become. We all watch the news – mothers murder their unborn babies […]
4/20 Celebrations Expected to End Just in Time for Next 4/20
Recreational marijuana smokers on couches across the globe today are once again “par-toking” in the annual 4/20, or April 20th, celebration of the sweet sweet Mary Jane, which is scheduled to […]
Amazing! When Bigot Launches Into Racist Tirade, Passengers Band Together to Avoid Eye Contact
In a heartwarming moment sure to restore your faith in humanity, a group of strangers came together today in the face of racism and misogyny to pretend not to hear […]
Obama Travels to Cuba on One Man Mission to Finish Job CIA Started
In a move that Fidel Castro himself could never have expected, inside sources reveal that President Obama has traveled to the island of Cuba on a daring mission to wipe out […]
Liberals Now Considering Positives of Donald Trump Presidency
UNITED STATES – In an attempt to look at the bright side of a reality wherein the 45th President of the United States is a man who is likely to change […]
Shocking New Evidence Reveals All Minorities Exact Same Person
Disturbing new evidence coming out of the terrorist attacks on Paris last week has revealed that each and every minority is, as many have feared, the exact same violently aggressive […]
Fleet of Military Drones Announce Bid for US Presidency
WASHINGTON D.C. – Emphasizing their vast foreign policy experience and the fact that they are sentient now, a fleet of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles from the US drone programme officially announced today […]
Ben Carson’s Evil Twin Prepares for “Phase 2”
The obvious stranger impersonating revered neurosurgeon Ben Carson in the Republican primaries has released a statement today revealing to the world that he is actually none other than Carson’s evil […]
The Ungrateful Soup 