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Monthly Archives: January 2016

Nation’s Guidance Counsellors Nah Apologise to No Battyboy

Featuredby UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Stating for the record that battyman fi dead, guidance counsellors across the island have reaffirmed their unwillingness to go above and beyond the line of duty by assisting homosexual […]

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Current Affairs

Fox Responds to Criticism, Hires Noted Minstrel Show Actor as Face of Black Issues

Featuredby UGSstaff

NEW YORK – As part of a widely commended push for a more diverse news and commentary staff, Fox News Channel has reportedly hired minstrel show veteran Mark Cruger as […]

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Current Affairs

Local Rasta Returns From Africa, Acts Like He’s Better Than Everyone Else

Featuredby UGSstaff

BOBO HILL – Thirteen months and counting after local rastafarian Tigilau Moses’ brief sojourn to the Shashamane community of Ethiopia, or the magisterial motherland as he calls it now, insider […]

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Local

Children Only Thinking of Selves in Decision to Delay Marriage, Kids

Featuredby UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Confirming previous reports of their self-centred attitude towards family planning, local siblings Marsha and Sheldon Davies reportedly had the audacity today to visit their parents’ household without even […]

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Local

Local Woman Removes Makeup, Is 1988 Toyota Tercel

Featuredby UGSstaff

In what he insists is yet another textbook example of cosmetic deception, local marketing consultant Brian Arscott has revealed that the beautiful and engaging young woman he slept with last night […]

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Local, Love & Relationships

Embarrassing Secret Slated to Begin Journey Down Network of Best Friends

Featuredby UGSstaff

KINGSTON – After dropping vague hints about “your so-called friend” and later explaining that they promised not to tell, giddy inside sources revealed that 15-year-old Laura Haynes openly contemplated pulling the […]

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Current Affairs, Local

Newly Married Dancehall Artiste Assures Fans He’s Still Heartless Gyalist

Featuredby UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Responding to growing concern about his allegedly genuine commitment to one woman for the rest of his life, local recording artiste Gyal God took a moment from his […]

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Entertainment, Love & Relationships

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