After cracking a few jokes about the Drake and Meek Mill feud and “clowning” on some other cultural touchstones earlier this week on Twitter, corporate account @SalesInc grew noticeably withdrawn […]
LONDON – Wiping the champagne out of his eyes and ears, veteran football coach Michael Stern took a moment out of the celebrations to thank the thousands of fans whose tactical […]
Disturbing new evidence coming out of the terrorist attacks on Paris last week has revealed that each and every minority is, as many have feared, the exact same violently aggressive […]
KINGSTON – Confirming the most harrowing fears of the Jamaican people, news outlets today are reporting that rumours of a nationwide takeover by our gay overlords are based in fact, and […]
CALIFORNIA – In the wake of her recent loss to 18-time boxing world champion Holly Holm, former undefeated MMA champion Ronda Rousey announced today that there’s something “unethical” about knocking people […]
MANDEVILLE – Retreating to the bathroom to avoid the looming threat of small talk, 23-year-old Jason Humes has confirmed that he has never felt more alone than he does right […]
KINGSTON – Reminding the nation that the PNP is ready for battle, Prime Minister Portia Simpson-Miller has announced that the next political rally will reveal the location of the next political […]
FLORIDA – Publicly putting an end to a yet unknown chain of “unbelievable” events, your Facebook friend Cindy Michaels recently updated her status to reveal to the world that she is now […]
THE REAL WORLD – Contrary to your long held personal beliefs about your true potential, new research reveals that if you were to buckle down and really apply yourself from […]
HADES – Officials from Hell today have called for an immediate moratorium on the damnation of all the people who insist on grinding our gears, citing an unsustainable strain on the […]
The Ungrateful Soup 