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Monthly Archives: November 2015

Corporate Twitter Account Pretty Selective With Its Replies

Featuredby UGSstaff

After cracking a few jokes about the Drake and Meek Mill feud and “clowning” on some other cultural touchstones earlier this week on Twitter, corporate account @SalesInc grew noticeably withdrawn […]

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Business

Coach Finally Takes Advice from Fans, Can’t Stop Winning Titles

Featuredby UGSstaff

LONDON – Wiping the champagne out of his eyes and ears, veteran football coach Michael Stern took a moment out of the celebrations to thank the thousands of fans whose tactical […]

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Sports

Shocking New Evidence Reveals All Minorities Exact Same Person

November 25, 2015by UGSstaff

Disturbing new evidence coming out of the terrorist attacks on Paris last week has revealed that each and every minority is, as many have feared, the exact same violently aggressive […]

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Current Affairs, International

Local Gay Overlords Move for Total Domination

November 23, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Confirming the most harrowing fears of the Jamaican people, news outlets today are reporting that rumours of a nationwide takeover by our gay overlords are based in fact, and […]

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Current Affairs, Local

Rousey Pledges To Talk Things Out Next Time

November 18, 2015by UGSstaff

CALIFORNIA – In the wake of her recent loss to 18-time boxing world champion Holly Holm, former undefeated MMA champion Ronda Rousey announced today that there’s something “unethical” about knocking people […]

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Sports

Third Wheel at Local House Party Forgot to Charge Phone

November 17, 2015by UGSstaff

MANDEVILLE – Retreating to the bathroom to avoid the looming threat of small talk, 23-year-old Jason Humes has confirmed that he has never felt more alone than he does right […]

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Local

Portia Calls Date to Call Date to Call Date to Call Elections

November 13, 2015by UGSstaff

KINGSTON – Reminding the nation that the PNP is ready for battle, Prime Minister Portia Simpson-Miller has announced that the next political rally will reveal the location of the next political […]

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Current Affairs, National Elections

Facebook Friend Officially Over All the Drama

November 11, 2015by UGSstaff

FLORIDA – Publicly putting an end to a yet unknown chain of “unbelievable” events, your Facebook friend Cindy Michaels recently updated her status to reveal to the world that she is now […]

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Local

Best Version of Self Not That Great Either

November 9, 2015by UGSstaff

THE REAL WORLD – Contrary to your long held personal beliefs about your true potential, new research reveals that if you were to buckle down and really apply yourself from […]

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Local

Special Place in Hell Overbooked Due to Rise in Pet Peeves

November 6, 2015by UGSstaff

HADES – Officials from Hell today have called for an immediate moratorium on the damnation of all the people who insist on grinding our gears, citing an unsustainable strain on the […]

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Current Affairs

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